


Some Might Say

by katy15307



Series: Short Story Thingies [25]
Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 07:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6275185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katy15307/pseuds/katy15307
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's settling into family life when tragedy strikes. (August 1990)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Might Say

Life’s so easily messed up, one action, one night and you’re left stuck with it for the rest of your life. Sometimes it’s good, like Noel getting to go off with Inspiral Carpets, more often than not it’s bad and you have to make it a good thing.  
It’ll be rate, that was my outlook. You could turn anything into a good thing if you tried hard enough, if you wanted it. No point fucking around, life’s shit but I wanna be a rockstar so I will be. Life can chuck all the shit it likes at me until then.  
My mistake, shagging a bird, she’s my girlfriend but we’re Catholic, we’re not meant to (no sex before marriage, as if anyone’s listening to that these days) and then she got preggers. Her parents kicked her out (would have been a shotgun wedding if we had guns, thank fuck for that) so she lives with me and Mam.  
I wasn’t Catholic, not really, didn’t go to church anymore, didn’t do anything a good Catholic kid should. Mam still did it all, still took it dead serious and somehow after everything I’ve done she wasn’t ashamed of me.  
Mam was just as angry as her family, she told me I was an idiot but if she kicked me out all her family would be gone since Noel’s fuck knows where and Paul’s gone to Ireland. Neither of them even know because they don’t call.  
I never wanted to be a Dad, too young to want it yet but there was the fact that I didn’t know how. My role model showed me that a Dad lies, cheats, drinks, gambles and beats up anyone they feel like especially his wife and kids. I had to work out how to be a Dad without doing any of that. Now it was happening, I wanted to be a Dad, a great one, the best.  
I woke up with her trying to get out from under my arm. I always held her a bit too tight in my sleep, there wasn’t much room even with me and Noel’s beds pushed together to make a double and I just wanted to be close to her and my baby. “Don’t go.” I groaned.  
“I’ve got to!”  
“Stay a bit. You need to rest.” I argued.  
“I need to get a job.” She got outta bed.  
I grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers. “You can do that later!”  
“Sure, I’ll just tell the baby sorry we don’t have a cot or clothes or anything because Dad kept insisting we’d do everything tomorrow.”  
“But what about me, now?”  
She walked away and I laid with my hands supporting my head, staring at the ceiling. I knew I couldn’t stay unemployed but I was in no rush either. I’d throw my life away for a day in bed.  
She came back from the bathroom a few minutes later.  
“Come back to sort my morning glory out?” I asked cheekily but dead serious, it was sticking up the duvet like a fucking mountain.  
She just smiled at me and got on with getting dressed. She pulled her pajama top off and looked for her bra.  
“You’re not helping.” I complained as I watched her.  
“You don’t have to look.” Again she smiled as though that was sympathetic, she covered her boobs with a black bra.  
She found a purple blouse and put it on.  
“Come here a minute.” I waved her over.  
She did. “Please don’t pull me on the bed.”  
“Just wanted to see our son.” I put my hands on her stomach, she didn’t really have a baby bump yet and he didn’t kick yet either cos he was still tiny but I still liked doing it.  
“We don’t know, it’s been only ten weeks, Liam.” As always she argued I shouldn’t be so fixed on the idea of having a son but I knew, I just fucking knew.  
She wanted to wait until he was born but I couldn’t wait that long, why wait when they can just tell us so easily at a scan?  
I had everything mapped out already, everything was going to be blue, his clothes, his room, everything, he was going to say “Da” first cos he liked me best, he was going to learn to kick a football as soon as he could walk and play for Man City when he was old enough or at least support them with all his heart like me and my brothers did, he was going to be good in school and not get expelled or anything and obviously he’ll be so popular.  
“You just wait, I’m Liam Gallagher, I’m always right.” I buttoned up her top for her, our little baby hidden away, safe while his Mummy finds a job. “Go on, go get dressed, I wanna see your arse.”  
“Sexist pig!” She tried to sound offended but I knew she wasn’t. “Girls like football too y’know.”  
“Yeah?” I scoffed, she was usually bored to death when footie got a mention. “Name one player.”  
“Peter Beardsley.” She smirked confidently. “Wasn’t talking about me, just saying your Daddy’s little girl will be just as fun as this son you’ve imagined.”  
“Good guess, one England squad lad.” Apparently she listened to some of it, although the Italia ‘90 had only just finished and we ‘d reached the semis.  
Thinking about footie made me wonder where Noel watched the matches, who he celebrated with, who he shared the pain with when we went out on fucking penalties. Not with his little brother.  
He should be here, calling me an idiot for this, jealous of her. Calling me the names under the fucking sun, pissed off cos I’d touched his stuff. He’d know what to do too though, I like Paul better but Noel’s the smart one.  
“I’m not seeing any arse.” I told her, getting back to business although thinking about the baby, footie and my brothers had settled my member.  
She rolled her eyes at me, walked back to the drawers and showed me the knickers she’d chosen.  
“What? I wanna see my beautiful, future businesswoman, Mother of my child, girlfriend’s arse, what’s wrong with that?” I knew how to score points.  
“Nothing.” She smiled that I can’t believe he’s complimenting me smile that girls do because they don’t know what to do with affection.  
She made sure to face away from me as she pulled her pajama trousers down so I had full view of her knickers, letting them drop to the floor.  
“Liam.” She sounded dead scared, panicked, I sat up. “I’m bleeding.”  
“What?” I heard her loud and clear and I could see it for myself.  
I jumped out of bed and went to her.  
“I thought it was just spotting.” She spoke, I didn’t know what that meant, I didn’t listen to all the medical stuff, I don’t think she was even talking to me.  
“Shh, it’s okay.” I told her, what the fuck am I meant to say, lying was the only option I had. “It’s not that much, it’s alright.”  
I didn’t know what to do so I held her and shouted Mam. She always knew what to do. She made us get dressed and got our neighbour to drive us to the hospital, assuring us both that everything would be fine all the time.  
They wouldn’t let me in while they did tests, tried to save our baby, I don’t know. I didn’t have a fucking clue what they were doing, what was going on. I was fucking terrified and no one gave a shit. I wasn’t the one carrying the baby, losing blood, losing it, why would anyone give a fuck how I felt?  
They called me in, the doctor sat her side of the desk, we sat the other. She started talking, trying to sound empathetic, caring, compassionate. Whatever she was saying I wasn’t listening. I’d already worked it out, I didn’t need it spelling out. It was like in films where everything slows down and you can't hear anything, it’s just them mouthing the words and you think it's bollocks it can't really work like that in real life but it does. It was exactly that, she talked and fucking talked and I didn’t hear any of it  
It wasn’t like my thoughts were too loud, I had none, I wanted to think and feel so many different things that they all cancelled each other out. I just couldn’t concentrate.  
Silent drive home.  
Back home.  
She wouldn't look at me. She wouldn't talk. She just sat huddled in her pajamas and dressing gown. I didn't know what to say anyway. I wanted to put the TV on, drown out the silence but I didn’t want to upset her so I didn’t do anything.  
Mum suggested making tea but neither of us wanted to eat or drink, she understood, she didn't push it. She was stuck in the middle of two very fucking broken people.  
When we went up to bed she took her pillow and got in Paul’s, she didn't want to be anywhere near me. I curled up in my bed, the fetal position. Completely alone, no longer a Dad, there’s no point fucking denying it, tears rolled.  
The doctor told us not to blame ourselves, it was no one’s fault, I heard that bit but it didn’t stop me. It was all my fault. I got her pregnant, it has to be my fault.  
If the baby had been born like this, we’d have a funeral and everyone would mourn like he was any other member of the family, instead we’ve got nothing.  
I wished I could start the day again and everything would go differently, she would go out and come back excited about her new job, showing off the baby outfit she couldn’t help buying cos she knew we had money coming in. I wished she’d gone out all fucking day wasting her time cos no one was hiring but our baby was okay.  
I didn’t know when I fell asleep or how long I stayed awake. Mum woke me up, said it was two in the afternoon, that I had to get up, I had to eat. I just nodded and she walked away. I didn’t move, I was never going to move.  
Mum brought me food but I never touched it, she’d just take it away again the next time. She got on with her life while having to babysit me and my girlfriend, if that’s what she still was.  
I saw her walk past with her bags and ;later Mum explained that she’d gone home, back to her parents. Fuck her, still couldn’t fucking look at me anyway. I was well aware that I was being a selfish cunt but it wasn’t fair, she could get away, get help and move on but I couldn’t.  
Guis’ knocked on my bedroom door and walked in. I was sat staring forward at the drawers, I glanced at him a second and he was stood awkwardly, working out what he was going to say, Mum did it every time.  
“Come on, we’ve got the job centre.”  
He hadn’t got the memo, I couldn’t give a shit about job seekers allowance, money meant fuck all, I couldn’t give a shit about moving from this bed in this room, my day was already firmly planned out, I had to examine the drawers some more.  
“You alright?” he asked with his usual dopey tone. “It’s been a while… No one’s heard from you in ages. Was starting to think you’re getting way too into all this Dad stuff.”  
“FUCK OFF!” I barked at him. “FUCK OFF AND DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE COME BACK GUIS’!”  
“What have I said now?” he asked, scratching his head, completely unfazed by my temper.  
“There is no FUCKING baby, she lost it, now she’s gone.” I told him. “So fuck off, run along and laugh at me somewhere else.”  
“Oh shit! I’m sorry. I didn’t know, man. No one’s laughing, I swear.” he insisted.  
I hated “sorry” I didn’t want “sorry” I wanted my son. “Just go.”  
“Look, here’s what we do, we go out and get wrecked. I’m not taking no for an answer, don’t even bother, so get dressed Liam cos no one’s letting you in anywhere dressed like that.”  
He stood with his arms crossed, waiting. “Come on, mate, it’ll get better.”  
Couldn’t get much fucking worse.  
“Let’s go get shitfaced then, I’ve had enough of this now.”  
I didn’t want to, there was no way I was going to enjoy it but still I got changed and followed him since sitting, staring at where she was when we lost the baby was doing me no good.


End file.
